I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
