Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
