she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
