look no pants
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You were trust falling into bushes
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
