You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
