oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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