And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
