I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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