if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
