Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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