She announced her abortion via fbk
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
