i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
