You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
