She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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