Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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