I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
NoShamevember. You game?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
