Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
