Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Even my vagina gasped.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
