shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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