Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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