what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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