I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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