you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
