So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Randomize
