My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
