and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
