Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
