I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
