the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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