So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
