she was so not down for the gang bang
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
