So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
