Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
