Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
