Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
