i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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