it hurts more in the daytime
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
