She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
