its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
