the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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