Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You need a sexual gate keeper
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Randomize
