He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
