Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize