Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he shaved USA in his pubs
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
