I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
