THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
