my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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