so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
