Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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