Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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