I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
