I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
