I feel like I'm in dance class right now
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
