when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize