Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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