Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
