Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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