I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
