Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
